Saying No

I am so tired of saying no. But my kids ask the most outlandish things...what else am I supposed to say all day?

I've read parenting articles on how to avoid saying "no" to toddlers. You know, divert their attention, that sort of thing. That may aid in circumventing temper tantrums, but what about downright ridiculous requests??

Ainsley: "Mommy can you turn the air conditioner on?"
Mom: "No, it's the middle of winter."
Ainsley: "But I'm cold." (oh yes...this is a conversation we've really had)
Mom: "If you're cold, I need to turn on the heater."
Ainsley: "Well, I just want the air conditioner on. Can you turn it on please?"
Mom: "No."
Ainsley: "Please please please please?"
Mom: "No."

Note the use of, count them, three "no"s in the course of one short conversation. You can't exactly divert the attention of a three year old.

Ainsley: "Mommy, can you turn the air conditioner on?"
Mom: "Look at that bird."

It just doesn't work.

And the thing is (as illustrated in the example above) one "no" doesn't suffice these days. This was our conversation this morning:

Mom: "Benjamin please stop blowing that obnoxious noise maker that you got at Ian's birthday party, of which I am going to hunt down the inventor and subject him to all forms of evil torture, not the least of which will be wrestling him to the ground and blowing that thing in his ear."

Ok...so maybe that's not quite how it went.

Mom: "Benjamin, please stop blowing that. Mede is taking a nap."
Ben: "But it sounds like a goose."
Mom: "Great. Well, sound like a goose when Mede is awake."
Ben: "When it's time to wake Mede up [for church], can I wake him up with my goose noise?"
Mom: "No."
Ben: "Why not?"
Mom: "Because that's a yucky way to wake up. Would you want someone to come and wake you up with a loud goose noise?"

**Commence 5 minute diatribe on how much Benjamin would love for someone to wake him with a loud goose noise.**

Mom: "Okay. Well, even if you would want someone to wake you up with a loud goose noise, I don't think Mede wants to be woken up that way."
Ben: "Can I just try?"
Mom: "No."

Why don't they ask things that I can say yes to? "Hey Mom, can I have a plate full of vegetables?" or "Mom, can I be really quiet now so the baby can go to sleep?" What about this one: "Mother dear, may I please thoroughly brush my teeth, go potty, and get my pajamas on so that you may sit and enjoy your novel?"

Alright...I'm getting ridiculous now. But sometimes you just want to say yes.

Do you think that's how Heavenly Father feels at times? Why don't they just ask for something that I'm ready to give them? Why don't they ask for something I can say yes to? I guess Heavenly Father probably doesn't ask why. But you know what I mean. I'm sure that some of the things I pray for in my relative preschoolhood (eternally speaking) sound to Father in Heaven the way Benjamin's and Ainsley's requests sound to me. It has given me a better understanding of what it means to ask things in the name of Christ.

In the Bible dictionary under "prayer," it says: "We pray in Christ's name when our mind is the mind of Christ, and our wishes the wishes of Christ--when his words abide in us. We then ask for things it is possible for God to grant."

Hmmm....perhaps I need to stop asking for the air conditioner to be on in the winter...

Learning Curve

Benjamin's learning style is very interesting...I've been observing it for awhile now. Like 5 years or so. He has always been the type to not get it, not get it, not get it...BOOM. He can do it. None of this wasting time with progressive steps or practice. When he was a baby, I wondered if he was ever going to be mobile. Then he decided to army crawl for all of an afternoon before moving on to the real deal.

And now it's puzzles. He just did not get how to put puzzles together. His idea of putting puzzles together was watching me do it. I would give him a piece and ask him where he thought it should go. He would kind of fiddle around, twisting it this way and that, then give it back to me and say, "I don't know." Even if it was the last piece of the darn picture!

Then this morning, he's putting puzzles together--doing the whole thing by himself. There was no easing into it, no learning to put the edge together first...he's just doing it.

I have a feeling his learning style is a somewhat frustrating mixture of mom's perfectionism and dad's quick wit (and hatred of busywork). It's like he doesn't want to attempt anything until he's sure he can do it just right. And then he catches on to the "just right" pretty quickly and is ready to move on to bigger and better things.

He's also recently learned to write letters. One day he couldn't do it, the next day he could write every letter of the alphabet. He'll ask me how to spell something and he'll just sit and write every letter as I say it. And it used to be that he would write them kind of wherever he felt a letter should go on the page. So thank you could end up YUTKNAHO.

Hey...I bet he'll be good at anagrams.

But yesterday I was making dinner (macaroni and cheese counts, right??) while the kids were minding their own business with some paper and colored pencils. Suddenly he said, "Look, Mom" and held this up:

I said, "How did you learn how to spell Ainsley?" to which he replied, "I just remembered it. A-I-N-S-L-E-Y."

I thought this was a pretty cute picture, worthy of publication. I asked him why Ainsley had so many eyes and he said that two of those are nostrils. And she's standing on a hill, in case you were wondering. But up until just a few months ago, he had never even attempted to draw a tangible object. It was all just scribbling for the first four and a half years of life.

It makes it so it's rather difficult to teach things. I'll fret and worry for months, thinking he's going to go through life not knowing how a puzzle goes together, and figuring that all my attempts at teaching him edge pieces vs. inside pieces is a complete failure. Then one morning I wake up and he's got a completed puzzle laying out on the coffee table.

Go figure.

And just because I'm in charge of this blog and I revel in the power that yields, I'll add a cute picture that I took of my girls today (even though it has nothing whatsoever to do with puzzles, letters, or Benjamin):

Refocusing

I had kind of a stressful morning. So now I'm going to sit, take a deep breath, and write some things I'm thankful for...in no particular order...and find my zen.

Some things I'm thankful for on this rainy Thursday:

• Baby wipes
• Tootsie Rolls
• The way Mede says thank you ("dee doo")
• Leslie Sansone's Walk Away the Pounds (that's actually a love/hate relationship, but I'm grateful all the same)
• Random acts of kindness
• Peanut butter
• Homemade bread
• Chaco sandals
• My kids bringing me sticks, dandelions, leaves, rocks, and other sundry items they find outside. What mother doesn't love a stick??
• Really good writing pens
• Benjamin's emerging writing skills
• Email
• Katie's coos and smiles
• Ainsley's fantastically frantic hair...mostly
• Rubbermaid containers
• Washing machines
• New crayons
• That two out of my four children can put on their own shoes
• The VeggieTales theme song
• Libraries
• Electricity
• Amazingly wonderful neighbors and friends (even when they move to Spokane!)
• Good examples of motherhood all around me
• The amazing family from whence I came :)
• The General Conference edition of the Ensign
• Dinosaur chicken
• Family Fun magazine

There. That really helped. Anyone out there in blogland want to find their zen? I'd love to hear what you're thankful for....